tarclis:

my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and shit and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that

(Source: seasexual, via vaguely-pedophilic-swings-set)

during a concert
me: they're real
me: they're REAL
me: I love them
me: I'm going to cry
me: omg
me: what
me: they're real

teen:

i wanna meet the male version of me 

(via ubsess)

lvysaur:

Isn’t it weird how glue doesn’t get stuck to the container it’s in

(Source: nxte, via heaven-danielle)

monobeartheater:

djsais:

arceeofficial:

june-and-the-ocean:

egberts:

if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you’re wrong

when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is

SWEET JESUS

SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

OH MY GOD.

I TELL PEOPLE THAT IT SMELLS “SHARP” WHEN IT’S COLD AND PEOPLE THINK I’M FUCKING INSANE.

DEAR CHRIST

COLD SMELLS THE SAME WAY SOME METALS SMELL

Rain smells round, cold smells sharp, and spring in general smells curly.

and heat smells fat and heavy

(via insecure-to-the-core)

sly-mcp:

whothefuckisalexturner:

abhortion:

ginnifergoodwins:

foodtrucker:

‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on

#glad to know it’s international

#’it’s just drizzling’ said the PE teacher opening an umbrella

“running for 20 minutes isn’t that bad”, said the PE teacher from the chair

‘you’ve got to stay healthy’ said the PE teacher eating a mars bar

“Being on your period is no excuse.” said the male PE teacher with no uterus

(via lornahunter94)

brendon-urie-the-raging-homo:

yrmaw:

harrysgettinhead:

british people are so fucking cute

they called christmas lights ‘fairy lights’

they called sweaters ‘jumpers’

sneakers are ‘trainers’

they say ‘you alright/you ok’ instead of ‘how are you’

i quit

fuck off you condescending twat

Most British sentence I’ve ever heard

(Source: wordlesslanguage, via insecure-to-the-core)

bllonde:

sorry i can’t go to your party next month i have a headache

(via ohfuckiamafangirl)

officialsamwinchester:

do u ever put on a shirt and look in the mirror and go

"no. this does not represent the full potential of my boobs"

(via openminded-im-sure-i-was-so-free)

rdjmpreg666:

studied for 30 seconds im gonna rock this fuckin test 

(via lalunesong)

radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

(via insecure-to-the-core)

super-who-locked-in:

angle-of-depression:

nothingcorporate:

opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s

Oh shit

(Source: uncooler, via iamthewolfamongthesheep)